Being at the waterpark with my family brought all kinds of anxiety and emotions. My insecurities sky rocketed at the thought of being in a swimsuit, around people. I struggle with my body image. I suffer from body dysmorphia syndrome. Even though I see myself as disgusting when I look in the mirror, I try to remain positive. I remind myself of what my body has done for me. I remind myself that I am human, we all have flaws, not one body is perfect. I have carried and birthed two amazing healthy babies in this body. It has carried me through 4 marathons and 5 half marathons. Countless years of abuse and neglect. Yet through it all, its still there for me.
I could have spent all day comparing myself to the other woman. I could have went into a complete downward spiral. There are so many shapes and sizes. The beauty of another body that I do not have. Each one has there own story. I could compare myself, I am too fat, too short, too flat, too ugly, too much cellulite….. This list could go on and on. I could have told myself that I need stop eating, i need to workout harder, like I have in the past. I could have hid and not spent time with my family. But I decided I was going to refocus myself and remain positive.
That day I let myself off the hook. I reminded myself that I am good enough and perfect the way I am. I really enjoyed my family all day, not allowing my thoughts take away from the truly important things in my life….. I actually felt confident in my own body... That’s HUGE!!!!
It was a great day!!